Dating Sites For Men With Kids

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If you’ve just met someone who also happens to be a single parent, you might feel a bit apprehensive moving things forward, especially if you don’t have a lot of experience with kids. Dating a single parent is a unique situation. Kids take a lot of time and responsibility. Plus, there’s bound to be an ex in the picture somewhere, which can make things even more awkward.

Dating a parent, from all outward appearances, does seem pretty complicated. But it can also be a deeply rewarding and pleasurable experience. If you can get in tune with what it means to date a single parent, then you have a better chance of accepting, understanding, and enjoying your new relationship.

Here are the most important things you need to know about dating someone with kids.

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1. The kids will always come first. Always.
Like it or not, your date’s kids will always come first. That means if your date’s kids want mommy or daddy time, then that special date night you’ve had planned will have to be postponed. Try not to take it personally. They probably want to see you as much as you want to see them, but until the kids are full-sized adults, their needs will always be a top priority. Use that free night to catch up with your friends or your Netflix queue.

2. You’ll need to take things slow.
A single parent isn’t likely to be a big fan of an instant relationship. Not only do they not have nearly enough time to readily commit to a full-blown relationship (remember they have work and other commitments in addition to tending to their kids), but they also have to consider their children before ‘going all in’ with someone. They won’t take this lightly. If you need more of a guarantee, be prepared to walk away. On the positive side, your limited time together will leave each of you wanting something more, which can be incredibly passionate and fun.

3. They might seem emotionally distant at times.
It’s important to remember your single parent date has been through a lot emotionally, experiencing a wide range of feelings from anger and frustration to sadness and disappointment. Depending on how recent the divorce isor if they are still in the middle of legal proceedingsthere might be some immediate need for them to heal. This could either mean they need space from time-to-time in order to deal with their feelings, or it could mean they aren’t capable of meeting your emotional needs yet. It will be up to you to decide whether you can deal with the emotional ups-and-downs.

4. You’ll need to be flexible.
Be prepared to be flexible and spontaneous with your schedule. Whether there was a last minute softball cancellation so your date can see you tonight after all, or there’s a sick kid, so now they can’t, you will be playing a lot of things by ear. In fact, don’t be surprised if planning something more than two weeks ahead is a near-impossible feat. If you’re someone who thrives on planning, this might be a problem. However, you could embrace going with the flow and the freedom that it allows you.

5. Their ex is still in their life.
With kids involved, your date will have regular contact with his or her ex and may vent about their frustrations with their ex. Although this is perfectly normal, try not hate on the ex yourself. You might meet their ex at some point, and those negative vibes are never a good idea. You can be supportive and hear them out, but refrain from giving advice. At the end of the day, your date’s relationship with their ex is really none of your business until it directly relates to your relationship. If knowing that your date is dealing with their ex on a regular basis makes you uncomfortable then maybe the relationship is not the right fit for you.

6. You’ll have to like their kids.
Contrary to popular belief, your single parent is not looking for a new mom or dad for their kids. So panicking about taking their kids on as your responsibility is moot. However, if you want your relationship to develop, you will have to like them. And they will have to like you. It’s kind of a package deal. The upside is, if you do like each other, you might be able to cultivate a meaningful relationship with each other, which is sure to be a great gift in both of your lives.

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When dating a single parent, like in any relationship, it’s important to be honest with yourself and know what you can and cannot handle. If you’re able to be patient and understand that you’re in a relationship with someone who prioritizes another (little) person, then you could find yourself in an incredibly rewarding relationship.

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The online dating world can open our eyes to could-be mates that we might not otherwise consider; of these could-bes, divorced men and women may offer a few unexpected comforts. Dating expert Brooke Lewis dishes on why she loves dating divorced men.

As a single woman and dating expert, I have had a great deal of delightful experiences dating divorced men.

Naturally, as we grow fabulously older, women are going to meet many more divorced men than we did in our 20s. Although there are still stigmas surrounding dating divorced men, here are a few reasons you just might have a delightful experience:

1) Divorced men want to make things right.

Men are, by nature, fixers and problem solvers. Whether repairing the kitchen table or planning a romantic evening, the male ego and inner child have a strong need and desire to get it right and succeed. Men often feel this need after a failed marriage and while entering into a new relationship.

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I have witnessed this many times and men have openly shared with me that they would love to be married again one day and “make it right this time.” I have dated divorced men who have acknowledged that they spent a great deal of time building their businesses during their marriages and they wish they had been more romantic or listened more or had brought their wives flowers more often or had been more complimentary to their spouses.

Well, ladies, guess who benefits from those lessons? Yes, we do. There are many divorced men out there who have taken the time to work on themselves and their mistakes after their marriage ended and have a new-found commitment to making things right the next time around.

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2) Divorced men understand the behind-the-scenes components of a relationship.

Ladies, as much as we love men (and, I really do), we want to acknowledge that they can often mature, grow up and find their way in a relationship a bit more slowly than women do. I believe that marriage teaches men responsibility, structure, how to co-define reality, what women want and how to put someone else before themselves.

I have giggled to myself and so very much appreciated the little things that divorced men I have dated have done for me. They have taken out my garbage, carried my luggage, taken my car for an oil change, cooked me dinner, talked about my day at work and brought me breakfast in bed. I have found that men who have been married are a bit more structured and familiar with the little things.

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They seem to naturally have more of a routine and offer to do things that a lot of men who have never been married would not think to do for another person. I have dated many single 40-year old men who are super set in their ways, while men who were married before seem to have a deeper understanding of taking care of a woman… in many ways.

[NOTE: if you’re ready to meet the man (divorced or otherwise) who is familiar with these little things, take the first step and try MeetMindful for free today—the fastest growing dating site for conscious singles.]

Dating Sites For Men With Kids Near Me

3) Divorced men often have children.

I openly share that I have chosen my career first and never wanted my own children. I have many single girlfriends who share this choice and many who chose marriage, had children and got divorced. I have found that dating divorced men with children to be an amazing experience for myself, as well as my friends and clients who are now single women with children of their own.

In my 20s, almost all of my relationships failed because I chose not to have children of my own. I understood and respected the fact that most men wanted children.

As I have gotten older, I have loved dating divorced men with kids because it has taken the pressure off of me to have children with them. I have also learned that men with kids love that much more deeply. I have completely fallen for a guy or two simply by watching him with his kids and the undying love and support he has provided them. I have felt this love carry over to me, as well. These men seem to love much more unconditionally.

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For all you single Mom readers, I think dating divorced men with children is a huge plus. Men with kids will understand your schedule, lifestyle, priorities and responsibilities—because they will have a similar life experience. So, whether you are flying solo like me and acquire a beautiful built-in family or you are a single Mom yourself and create your very own Brady Bunch, you are gaining a wonderful experience by dating a divorced man who brings a lot to your table.

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[image: via Lotus Carroll on flickr]

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