Dating Over Thirty is a sub for discussion and advice on dating and the dating phase of relationships for people over the age of 30.This is not a place to post personals or 'looking for' or hookups.

• The telling truths: 10 reasons why dating in your 30s is different. Ain’t nobody got time for that: It turns out once you reach the post 30 age group, time becomes a more valued commodity. Life is busy and adulting. Deal breakers are actually a real thing: When you were 21, if he didn’t.
• Choosing the best dating app for a long-term relationship is the first step, but that’s when the hard work really begins. You’re looking for The One – but so is your future perfect match. That means you need to present your “best self” in a genuine, attractive and compelling way –.

When you’re in your 20s, pretty much anything goes when it comes to dating. Singles tend to be more carefree and have more energy to date. Ya, breakups are hard but you’re young and you’ll meet someone later in life so it’s no biggie. However, when you’re dating in your 30s you may have more of a sense of urgency and there are certain things to keep in mind.

Here are the 6 things you need to know:

1. Happy hours are something to take full advantage of.
Many single people in their 30s are working full-time jobs. That means, they’re going to bed and getting up earlier than they were in their 20s.

Best Dating App For Someone In Their 30s Age

“Happy hours are a great place to meet single people because it’s something social you can do right after work and still make sure you’re home at a reasonable hour,” says Paige, 32, from New York.

2. Looks stop being the number one priority.
Someone’s looks will still catch our eye, but won’t always keep your attention once you’re in your 30s. In other words, when you’re more serious about finding someone for the long term, things like values, politics, life goals, and interests will start to mean a lot more than a bucket list of physical traits.

3. Dating apps can become your favorite wingman/woman.
It’s a common yet legit excuse not to go out and meet people—you’re too tired after working all day. Singletons in their 30s may take their dating apps more seriously in terms of looking for a relationship because as much as they want to be out meeting people, often, work/life schedules may not allow for it.

Best Dating Apps For 30s

“It may seem lazy to some, but at the end of the day, it’s easier and more relaxing for me to meet people online, while I am home relaxing, than spending an extra two to three hours out after work trying to meet women,” says Ryan, 37, from Sacramento, CA.

4. You’re not in your 20s anymore.
Remember being in your early 20s and seeing those obvious, older bachelors and cougars prowling around the younger crowds? You don’t want to be that older creeper.

“My friend and I went to this club we used to frequent in our mid-20s. After a few minutes and realizing that we were the oldest guys in the place, we left and went to a sports bar. The look I got from girls was like ‘check out the old guys.’ Those late nights partying at clubs are over,” says Mark, 35, from Atlanta.

5. You’ll want to know right away if it’s going anywhere.
Time flies when you’re in your 30s. When you realize that the next decade you hit 40, aka midlife, you’ll realize that you don’t have time to just “date for fun” anymore. Daters in their 30s usually feel like there’s no point in spending time with someone anymore if a date isn’t clicking after the fourth, second, or even first date. Next!

6. You can still be confused about what you want.
The truth is, people in their 30s may still be unsure of the kind of relationship they want. One day, you could be looking for your partner for life. The next day, you could decide you just want a friend with benefits.

“When I turned 36, I thought maybe I was just meant to be single. I wasn’t meeting the right guys and decided that I would be fine on my own. I could travel, date on my terms, and just live my own life. Then I met [Jay] and couldn’t imagine my life without him in it,” says Abby, 37, from Albany.

Being in your 30s is a transition period. You’re definitely not ‘old’ yet, but your not your younger self either. You may look like you’re still in your 20s, but you don’t feel like you’re in your 20s anymore. And this transition period is actually a really great time to date. It’s different than your 20s, you don’t just ‘meet someone out’ or ‘text you later.’ Dates aren’t formal but they are planned. When people aren’t interested, they know how to be mature about it. And you’re a little bit older and wiser too. Not much, mind you. But just enough to make things interesting.

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In a fast-paced, technologically driven world, many singles are turning to the internet in hopes of finding love. But while meeting new people is easier than ever before, the dating game has become even more complicated under the guise of convenience. With so many different options available, which dating app is best for long-term relationships, as opposed to casual flings (which are great in their own right)?

'Dating apps can be excellent resources to connect with people,' says Dr. Stefani Threadgill, a sexologist, PhD, LMFT, and founder of The Sex Therapy Institute in Plano, Texas. 'Most of us take the same commute to work [and] grab coffee or lunch at the same places every day. We are limited in our routines with new people to meet, especially in certain geographical areas such as rural areas or even the suburbs where the feel is 'everyone knows everyone.'

It's true that online dating expands your search area exponentially, but it can also lead to sloppy etiquette, at-a-glance judgements, and a mentality of endless (and disposable) connections. So in today's day and age, how does a savvy woman wade through a sea of singles in order to find 'the one'?

Ahead, relationship experts and real-life usersspeak candidly about their own experiences using some of today's hottest dating platforms. From swipe-style apps to lengthy profiles on popular matching sites, it's not just about what you use; it's how you use it. If you're ready to quit all your dating apps, read this first.

Look For Platforms That Encourage Detailed Profiles

If you've taken to the web to search for a soulmate, the first step is to pinpoint the platform(s) that best serves your needs. There are always exceptions to the rule, but generally speaking, apps that encourage snap judgements based on appearances tend to attract a more casual crowd, while in-depth profiles can indicate users looking for something more.

'With only photos and a few words, there's no way to know if the other person aligns with your values, interests, humor, worldview, etc.,' points out Jennifer Gunsaullus, PhD, a sociologist and intimacy speaker, author of the new book, From Madness to Mindfulness: Reinventing Sex for Women. Based in San Diego, the 40-something relationship guru is a dating app user, herself. 'I can't and won't use the Tinder-style apps. It personally doesn't feel like it's worth my time and I'm looking more for quality over quantity.'

Instead, she recommends using platforms that encourage in-depth profiles, which can help weed out shallow connections. 'There are sites that specifically cater to folks looking for long-term relationships, like eHarmony or Hinge. It's worth spending time on these and creating a profile (with feedback from male and female friends) that helps you attract the kind of person you're looking for.'

Sonya Schwartz, a dating and relationship expert and founder of the dating blog Her Aspiration, agrees. 'eHarmony, for instance, requires [users] to fill in a lengthy questionnaire that's too boresome for those looking for hookups, but inspires trust to those looking for marriage or long-term,' says the 43-year-old from Plano, Texas. 'Match also has a lengthier signup process that appeals to those interested in something serious. Badoo and Tinder are more 'bubbly'; they attract younger folks who're more interested in a casual thing or one-night-stand.' (Now, to be clear, there's nothing wrong with wanting something less serious and non-committal. If that's your preference, swipe away!)

Make Your Intentions Known

Both experts and dating app users agree that sharing your intentions up front is key in narrowing your search. 'If you're looking for a long-term relationship and find yourself really attracted to someone but they clearly state that they aren't looking for anything serious, move on,' warns Dr. Gunsaullus. 'Don't secretly hope that you'll change their mind because your connection feels so strong.'

While you can certainly do this with any site or app, some are more conducive to revealing this information at a glance. 'I always swipe left if someone’s just looking for 'something casual,' says Ashli Campbell, a 30-year-old dating app user from Portland, Maine. When relationship preferences are clear from the get-go, 'it removes the need for the awkward 'so what are you looking for on here?' conversation,' she adds.

Of course, that initial honesty can lead to its own slew of frustrations. 'Bumble now offers the ability to put 'labels' on your profile of what you’re looking for (i.e. relationships, flings, if you want kids ...),' explains Kayla Hockman, a 26-year-old publicist in Los Angeles who's tried several matching services. 'At first glance, I thought it was a good idea, but [it] apparently only drives men away, according to two men I met on Bumble who gave me their unsolicited advice after seeing I had labeled myself as the 'relationship type.' But discouraging as it may be, immaturity like this is not indicative of long-term relationship material.

Keep An Open Mind

It's a tough balance: On the one hand, it's important to be honest about what you're looking for in a partner, but become too picky, and you can miss a spark. In fact, it's one of the biggest online dating mistakes people tend to make.

'I call it the 'all the fish in the sea' syndrome,' says Hockman. 'Everyone has a database of 'all' the singles in [their immediate area] and it can be overwhelming, so people become incredibly picky, which usually gives you little to no luck. So [my] tip is: Be open for an unexpected match but don’t stress over [...] looking for someone possibly 'better.'

Campbell seconds this advice. 'Don’t narrow your focus to people with the same interests as you, or to the qualities or interests of your ideal mate,' she suggests. 'Instead, be open-minded. You may learn to enjoy things you never thought you’d do (like bird-watching, which I actually had a ton of fun doing [with an online date]).'

Consider Whether Paid Subscriptions Are Worth It

Then, there's the matter of paid subscription services, which tend to offer in-depth features while (hopefully) discouraging more casual users. So, is it worth the money?

'Paid sites don’t ensure compatible interests or intentions from both parties involved,' notes Dr. Threadgill. 'That said, ‘the fish that you catch is a function of the bait that you use.’ It is my favorite piece of dating advice (I believe I heard it in a workshop given by David Schnarch at SMU in 2011).'

Hockman admits she's skeptical of whether it's worth shelling out cash to access profiles. 'The thing is, I don’t want to pay for a database of men that seemingly may still only want to hook up,' she says.

So, perhaps more important than deciding whether to sign up for a paid service is seeking one out that speaks to you. Does it ask questions you'd want to know about potential matches, and ones you'd like them to know about you? Are there sign-up requirements that might discourage anyone just looking for a one-night stand? Do you enjoy the features and overall user experience? If you find a platform that checks all these boxes and there's a fee to join, it might be worth it.

What These Ladies Really Think About These Popular Dating Apps

Naturally, not everyone will have the same user experience (yes, it'spossible to find long-term love on Tinder), but these app users give their take on a few of today's most popular platforms.

Tinder: 'Tinder seems to be mostly used for hookups and just sometimes for relationships. Sometimes people note 'no hookups' in their profile. On the other hand, I often see the phrase, 'Here for a good time, not a long time.' — Campbell

Best Dating Website 30s

OKCupid: 'I used to love OKCupid for finding potential serious relationships. They were more inclusive than other dating apps and asked interesting questions, and once you answered enough of their weighted questions, their algorithm was so impressive. But a few years ago it was clear they started screwing around with their algorithm and then they moved to more of a Tinder-like swipe style. I no longer recommend this app like I used to, and I don't use it myself anymore.' — Dr. Gunsaullus

What Is The Best Dating App For 30 Year Olds

Bumble: 'The dating pool on Bumble is similar to that of Hinge. People are able to identify in their profile what they’re looking for, so it’s more often listed up front along with where they’re from, level of schooling, height, whether or not you want kids, etc. It makes it easy to swipe left or right.' — Campbell

Hinge: 'Hinge seems more balanced in terms of what people are looking for. I have seen more professionals in their 30s on Hinge than on Tinder.' — Campbell

Match/eHarmony: 'I found Match to be more suitable for casual dates and long-term relationships, whereas eHarmony works better for long-term commitments and marriage[seeking].' - Schwartz